Education, empowerment and problem-solving are our primary objectives;
To meet personalized needs for meaningful, solution-based methods for individuals and couples to find resolution ~ mind and body.
Feeling Words
Many people have a relatively short vocabulary for feelings. Most times we use one general word to try and describe many different feelings to another person, how we feel. Clear communication requires you to be more specific. Getting specific is difficult because it involves more accurately identifying your feelings, and that can be painful.
One example is anger. Usually anger covers one of three possible deeper feeling- frustration, fear, and hurt.
Expand your vocabulary, read the very short below and try to get your brain moving and identify your feeling(s) on any given topic or issue currently taking place in your life. Then, grab your partner and have them do the same. See if the clarity in identifying your feelings doesn't lead to more effective problem solving.
Abandoned
Bad
Calm
|
Deceitful
Eager
Fascinated
|
Gay
Happy
Ignored
Jealousy Kicky
|
Laconic
Mad
Naughty
Obnoxious Pain Prim
|
Quarrelsome
Rage
Sad |
Talkative
Ugly
Violent
Wicked
Zany
|
Listen
When I need you to listen to me and you start telling me how to fix things,
You have not given what I need
When I need you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I need you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I needed was that you listen. Not talk or do--just hear me.
Opinions are cheap. 35c will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper --- And I can do for myself, I am not helpless,
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept, as a simple fact, that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what is behind this irrational feeling.
And when that is clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need outside opinions. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.
Perhaps that is why prayer works for some people, because God is mute, and He doesn't give an opinion or try to fix things. He just listens and lets you work it out for yourself and accept his plan.
So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk- wait a minute for your turn ~ and I will listen to you.
Anonymous
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